Chances are, at some point in your life you've been asked the question, "if you had a super power, what would it be?" These people obviously don't understand that super powers choose YOU (usually by way of a nuclear accident), but we humor them anyway. There's flying, invisibility, teleporting, levitation--all the usual ones. But what about all the other super power possibilities? The "less useful" ones? This week, I bring you:
Five "Totally Useless" Super Powers
I'd Like to Have
1) Tears that can repair minor cracks in glass! You know, for all the times you get those little cracks in your windshield. I'd just cry onto it, and it will repair LIKE MAGIC! Cracked hand mirror? No problem. Cracked window? Depends on the size of the crack. I'd be limited to small cracks, like about the size of a quarter.
2) Remote control whisperer! How many times have you lost that pesky remote? If I had this super power, I could just come over and talk to it, wherever it is. I think it'd be like Harry Potter when he's around horcruxes; I'd hear a faint screeching noise and know a/the remote is nearby.
3) Lettuce knife hands! You've heard of Edward Scissorhands, but what about Blythe LettuceKnifeHands (still working on the title)? With this super power, I could karate chop my way through all sorts of vegetables and even soft woods. I'd be a shoe-in for a job at Souplantation.
4) The ability to spin my arms very fast! You know when cartoon characters spin their legs really fast and are able to run really, really fast? Well, it'd be like that, but with my arms. So, if I do a handstand, I could potentially "run" very fast with my arms. OR, combined with the lettuce knife hands, I could
revolutionize the packaged salad industry. Imagine.
5) Pages turn when I snap! Nothing's more annoying than being engrossed in a good book and then having to
turn the pages while you're reading! With this power, pages would turn when I snap my fingers! So much easier!
I'd like to take a moment to thank my dear friend Blaire for her help brainstorming this week's
Five Things Friday. Other ideas we came up with that were not selected but deserve honorable mention include: the power to braid hair with my eyes, the ability to morph myself into food items of equal size as my current body mass, tying balloons by thinking, having candle-lighting fingers, the ability to exhale helium (for balloons), and the ability to communicate with doves.
What would some of your top useless super powers be?
Oh yes, and
some [other] past FTFs include:
Five Chick Flicks I'd Like To Be In
Five Classic Rock Bands/Musicians I wish I got to be a groupie for (Guest post)
Five Great DIY Ideas
Five Locations Used in Films I'd Like to Visit Five Harry Potter T-Shirts I'd Like to Make
